we can never remember the past
the title of this album – and the piece for which it is named – at first consideration, appears ironic. but when scrutinized, i believe it is, instead, literal.
i’ve been trying to write this music most of my life. however, in my misunderstanding of it, kept trying to twist it into something in which it wasn’t. it took me many years to get back to that place at which i started to make a start again. and in going back to that place, it also took me back to where i was in the past. so in this way, for me, these pieces are a remembrance – not of the absolute past – but of the past as i remember it now.
we can never remember the past. we can only remember our feelings and impressions of events. and those impressions are influenced by everything that has happened since that exact moment. sometimes the importance fades and you lose that memory until a found object or lost photograph hands it back to you. sometimes it is held with such a clinched fist that it gains a strength and thrust that drives your behavior in a direction that leaves you left standing alone at the end of a driveway watching the dust churned up by spinning wheels settle down in the distance.
so in writing the pieces on this album, they have become a guide to me, of sorts, to sort out what i think i remember and what i feel i remember – remembrances, and the shadows they have cast. and in that, it has become, for me, a guide to misinterpreting the past.